Thursday, August 28, 2008

Just to clear something up

I just wanted to clear something up about my last post, Ashlyn living with her father. This decision was not made while I was in SC for 2 weeks.I know the way I posted it, it sounded like that, but this was a decision that I had prayed about and spoke with our pastor about over a month ago. I did not make the decision over night, I just wasn't ready to talk about it a month ago when it all happened. I have always known that Ashlyn loves me and no one will ever take that bond away. Ashlyn is my first born child, and was a miracle from birth. When I began praying about this difficult decision, my prayer was that I do God's will, and even if it was not the best for me, I wanted it to be the best decision for her. I did very much want to keep her for selfish reasons, but my heart knew what was the right thing to do. Ashlyn may want to come back home one day, and she knows she can, but I have peace with my decision and that is what I prayed for. Peace. I talk to her several times a day, and she is always with cousins,grandparents and sounds so happy. This makes the pain easier to deal with. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know one day she will look back and know that her Mommy loved her that much that I put her happiness in front of mine.


Jo said...

Unconditional love ~ you're an amazing mom!

I posted about the monogram ~ you're going to giggle at how easy it is! And yes, I think everything monogrammed is completely normal : }

Hope you'r feeling a little brighter.

Angie said...

I read your last post about leaving your daughter with her dad and I cried when I read it because I am sure that had to be the hardest thing in the world to do! Someday she will understand how difficult this decision was for you and how much of a sacrifice it was for you. You gave her roots and now you are giving her wings to fly.

Strawberry Momma said...

I will pray for you both. You are such a brave momma.

Jennifer said...

I feel out of the loop lately so I thought I'd catch up on my fave blogs. :)

I can't believe how amazing you leave your little one (no matter the age they are always little one's aren't they) must have been so hard.

She will treasure this that you've done for her and the good thing is that she can spend time with your Mom and sisters.

3 Peanuts said...

Oh Sweet Mommy---I don't even know you and my heart is aching for you. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this is for you. I am praying for you all.